Lunch Counts and Attendance Annoy Me!

Today was just a normal day of subbing. That's not really true. There are no normal days of subbing, but it was at least a day that didn't screw with my head for a week. I was back at the school where I started this year. I subbed in a 3rd grade classroom.

No real problems, but these kids wanted to talk and talk and talk (and probably talk some more after that). I need to think of some more effective ways of controlling the talkers---other than threatening to take away recess or putting a name on the board. I'll gladly accept any suggestions that any of you might have out there.

My gripe with subbing today is attendance and lunch counts. I hate doing it! Attendance isn't really that bad, you just call out a name and listen for a voice to say "here". The only problem with attendance is trying to pronounce several new names. I didn't really notice it last time I was at this school, but there is a very large Muslim population---so it made for lots of names that were new to me, and names with lots of vowels. I also had 3 Mohammeds in a single class.

Lunch count is the thing that causes me more trouble. There are too many options---a student might be absent, a student might pack their lunch, a student might buy an extra lunch. Then there is the complication of free lunches, reduced lunches, and full price lunches. Once you get through that whole mess, you have to try and collect lunch money. Most of the schools I teach at, even the full price students don't have lunch money---I hate this part of the day because I feel that I am interrogating the students about their family's finances. It is none of my damn business.

I read "The Gruffalo" to the class today, and they all loved the story. Definitely one I should add to my regular collection for read alouds.

I'm not sure when my next sub assignment is, but you will hear the story as soon as I return.

Not a good day!

Nobody did anything wrong to me. I didn’t do anything wrong to anyone else. Most bad days of subbing have to do with someone having done something wrong.

Disrespect, fighting, threats, lack of lesson plans, not allowing me to teach----those are the usual things that students, teachers, and administrators could possibly do to me that might lead me to call a day a bad one. None of those things happened yesterday.

I didn't screw up my lessons, I didn't say something disrespectful to a student, I didn't lose a student on a field trip, and I didn't allow a student to get hurt---those are a few of the things that I might do that would lead me to call a day a bad one. None of those things happened yesterday.

Yesterday was a clearly a bad day. I got home, I curled up in a ball and I slept for 12 hours. I did not work as a sub today. I'm writing this post a day late. So what happened? I accepted a job at a school fairly close to my house in a good neighborhood. I checked out the school's web page and it said in addition to its regular education program the school taught children with orthopedic challenges. I am thinking to myself that there would be some students with movement issues. I didn't think it would be an issue because the substitute request I accepted was for a regular teacher, not a special education teacher. Those are 2 different types of substitute requests.

Well I arrive at the school Monday morning, and once again there is a substitute scheduling snafu. It’s not a major one, I was supposed to be in one teacher's classroom for the morning and I would be assigned as needed in the afternoon. I figured as assigned would be helping out a regular teacher. Helping out another teacher is usually a fairly easy assignment, so I was ok with it. Well the snafu was that the morning and afternoon assignments were switched...not a big deal. So it meant I would be "assigned" for the morning instead.

Well they assigned me to work with another substitute who was teaching in a classroom with five "orthopedically" challenged children. He had never worked in a special needs classroom before; I had never worked in a special needs classroom before. Two substitutes in one classroom is not a good mix, because who exactly is “in charge” of that classroom. And the teacher's assistant who normally helps out the class was in a meeting for the first part of the morning. I start glancing at the teacher's emergency lesson plans (these are the plans that are used when a teacher hasn't prepared plans in advance---they end up being extra lame, and extra vague), since the other substitute doesn’t really know what is going on. I quickly realize that these aren’t the type of lesson plans that I normally use.

Morning Plans for Room 15
8:45-9:00 Students arrive. Check their bags for class folder.
9:00-9:15 Play video for student (no specified title), take attendance/lunch count
9:00 Childcare attendant will feed Maria
9:15-11:00 Take students to OT/PT
9:30 Childcare attendant will change diapers for Alex and Maria
10:00 Childcare attendant will feed and change Fred

I wasn't going to be in the room past 11:00, so I just concentrated on that first part of the schedule. It was more than enough information to take in at once anyway. Debby arrived first. She was pushed into the room in a wheel chair, her eyes were glazed over almost catatonic. I said hi to Debby and there was nothing resembling a response from her, not even a blink or a shifting of the eyes. The school’s nurse came into the room at about the same time. “You are going to have to keep a close eye on Debby, she had a seizure yesterday. It was the first time she has had one, so if she happens to have another one today you need to time how long it lasts and call the office.” Time how long it lasts? Time how long it lasts---that’s what they want me to do? Not exactly one of those items covered in substitute training or my regular teacher training for that matter.

Mr. Green the other substitute teacher immediately decides to test out the schools intercom system, “Testing, 1, 2, 3. Does this work?” The first time I had ever seen someone test the intercom system. Next, Alex and Darla both arrive in wheel chairs. Neither talking. I said hello to both Darla didn’t respond, but Alex gave me the closest thing to a response, he grabbed my hand, pulled it close to his face, and slobbered on it. Not really the greeting I was expecting, but the only sign of life I have noticed so far. I watch Darla and her foot is twitching rapidly. What is happening?

Next Fred arrived, also in a wheel chair. From the moment Fred arrived he laughing hysterically. Almost shrieking, but it is definitely laughter. The childcare attendant told us that Fred would probably spend the whole day laughing. The childcare attendant tells us that this is a good time to turn on the video. The video begins, and crap it is actually a Barney video. As if these kids don’t have enough problems they are being subjected to Barney videos. My guess is each of the kids in the class is about 8-11 years old. Fred’s laughter is actually good at this point, because I want to cry. Substitute teachers joke a lot about being glorified baby sitters, but today I certainly don’t think I will be doing any teaching.

It is 9:15 and another woman comes into the room. “Hi, I’m one of the physical therapists. Bring your class into the hall at about 9:30 and we will help you take them down.” An extra 15 minutes of Barney videos--Yeah for us!

Mr. Green and I line the students up in the hall. Fred is still laughing and shrieking in the hallway. Debby is sleeping. The childcare attendant is changing Maria.

Three different therapists meet us outside the classroom, and we all start pushing the kids to the therapy room. We didn’t really know what was next for us. Were we dropping the kids off, were we staying in the therapy room.

All of us stay in the therapy room with the kids. This is the first time for the school year that the kids are using the therapy room, so it is an absolute mess. Stuff is everywhere. In order to get to the section of the room, I have to move things off of the floor so I can push Debby’s wheelchair to where they want us to go.

The one occupational therapist, Mr. Jones, is doing a somewhat good job of telling us what we are actually doing. He tells us that we are trying to get the children out of their usual seated positions, and put their bodies into various other positions to basically stretch them out.

Alex is the only one of the students who seems to be aware that I am even present. I notice he is looking at a ball in the corner of the room. I walk over, pick up the ball and show it to Alex. Alex grabs it out of my hand and throws it toward one of Maria. Of course Maria doesn’t respond at all. I pick the ball up and walk it over to Alex again. I hold the ball a little tighter; Alex tugs at it until I finally release it. Immediately he throws the ball back over at Maria. Alex is amused by this, but is this really what we are supposed to be doing. I realize if I give the ball back to Alex he is just going to throw it at Maria again, so instead I put the ball away.

The three therapists are talking among themselves, what should we do with them today. Fred is making the most noise with his laughter, so they decide to take care of him first. They lift him up out of his wheel chair, and lay him down on a tumbling mat. They then proceed to place him on a thin foam mattress, roll him up inside of the mattress and tie the mattress so that he is stuck inside like a pig in a blanket. I understand the reason is to try and stretch out his legs, since he is folded up in a wheel chair all day---but to any outsider walking into the school they would be wondering what the hell are you doing to these kids. Fred doesn’t mind at all, he just keeps laughing. I roll him and his mattress on the mat, not quite sure I should really be doing to this restrained kid.

Ms. Caroline one of the other therapists decides that since Alex was enjoying the ball so much they would give him something to play with. They place him in a chair and dangle a ball above his head from a string. Alex will now spend the next hour swinging and throwing a ball to himself.

Debby is placed in a swing. Maria is laid out on the floor with a musical toy that is supposed to be touch activated, but she decides to use her mouth instead. Darla is placed in this box that allows her to stand straight up; it almost looks like a box that a magician uses when he saws the woman in half.

After about an hour they take Fred out of his rolled up mattress and place him in a inflatable pool filled with small hollow balls. They move Alex into the same pool. Alex immediately starts throwing the balls out of the pool. Fred doesn’t do anything in the pool of balls except sink deeper and deeper. I’m thinking to myself, this is actually school? In no way this is education. I understand it is important, but it is so sad and depressing. These aren’t children that will ever be able to even take care of themselves, much less do something for others. When I tell my wife about this after I get home, she tries to tell me it is ok, because they don’t even have awareness of their troubles. But just the lack of self-awareness is enough to depress me.

I can’t wait for it to be 11 am so that I can move to my next class. At about 10:45 we start moving everyone back into their respective wheelchairs so we can take them back to the room. The therapists, Mr. Green, and I wheel the children back to the room.

I breathe a sigh of relief and wish Mr. Green luck with the rest of his day. I walk toward Ms. Karl’s room knowing that the rest of my day can only be better.

I walk into the room, and Ms. Karl greets me and has me introduce myself to the third grade class. They are working on a writing assignment, so she tells me just to wait in the back of the classroom and read through the afternoon plans. It is a small class only 15 students. Everyone is working so quietly and diligently. Not a single kid appears to be off task.

The lesson plans are straight forward, and there really isn’t a lot left for the day. From 12 to 1 the kids are at lunch and recess. From 2:15 to 2:30 they have recess again. And from 2:30 to 3:15 another teacher is team teaching in the classroom. So I only have about an hour and 15 minutes left in the classroom.

Ms. Karl is going to leave shortly before the kids go for recess so she asks me to take over the class. At this point she starts telling me about certain students in the class. “Amy is visually handicapped, so you have to read everything that you put on the board for her. Tammy has a disease where she has to be very careful about people touching her or bumping into things. She goes to a special class for gym and recess.”

This “regular” class seems to have quite a few problems also. I notice that another girl that Ms. Karl didn’t mention, Sara, is missing her right leg and has two crutches leaning against her desk. These are 8 and 9 year olds, they shouldn’t have problems like this. I start thinking about the kids I worked with in the morning, at least they didn’t realize that they had problems---but these three kids were certainly well aware of their limitations.

As I walk the class toward the playground for recess the student I think about the most is Tammy. How unfair is it that you can’t even go to recess or gym with your class. She is covered from head to toe in bandages, covering up what I am sure are some not-so-pleasant looking bruises. I can see some of the bruises on her hands and neck, and I am sure what is under the bandages is only worse.

The other kids in the school seem to take all of this in stride. I didn’t hear any name-calling the entire day. None of the petty bickering that you normally hear in an elementary school. Everything is so not normal.

The rest of the day goes by fairly quickly. When I am teaching my mind is only half on the lesson—I’m just thinking about these three kids in my class. I’ve forgotten the ones in the morning. For some reason these three kids who mentally have no problems at all, but have severe physical problems that no one should have to deal with, are the ones I can’t seem to shake from my mind.

The day ends and lots of the teachers ask me how my day went. Teaching-wise it went well. I can’t complain. Kids didn’t misbehave. No one disrespected me. The teacher left me clear plans. But my mind is an absolute mess. I can’t say that out loud to another teacher. As teachers we are supposed to be able to deal with this sort of stuff, but I can’t seem to handle it.

I walk down the street to the bus stop and I am pissed. I’m not sure who I should even be pissed at. I guess I am pissed because nobody warned me what I should expect. I am pissed because I am doing a job that I don’t have training for, I’m not even sure what training one could be given for a day like this.

Oh yeah, and I’m pissed off because this neighborhood has no sidewalks. Who builds a school in a neighborhood with no sidewalks? Let alone a school for children in wheelchairs in a neighborhood with no sidewalks? Are people idiots or what? And now once again my blood is boiling and I just want to go curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

Housekeeping News

I have stripped all references to my city and state from the blog. I want some more freedom to say what I really want to say and I would like to reduce the chance of my words coming back to haunt me. I know I won't eliminate the risk, but hopefully no one will do a search for my school district and be given a link to this blog.

A plea to those of you that happen to know me, please allow me to keep my anonymity intact.

Yes I know, I am a paranoid crackpot Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't coming to get me.

Close to perfection!

What a fantastic day. Dare I say I had about as close to a perfect day that you can have subbing. I actually spent the majority of my day teaching. I had such a well behaved group of students that there really was almost zero need for discipline. Sure I had kids talking at certain points, but if I asked them to stop talking they actually stopped talking. I think I raised my voice once today (its a humorous story described below), and it just barely counted as a voice raising. I didn't have to make any threats. I didn't have to write any names on the board. It was incredible. I really didn't think that I would want to teach again full time, but if I knew I would have a class like I did today I might actually consider it.

We made it through the teacher's plans, with time to spare. I really don't like it when I have to rush through plans. The teacher left sort of sparse plans, but that was ok, because I was subbing in a 4th grade class---which is the one that I have the easiest time of winging because of my past experience. I got to teach them my Maryland version of 7-up (no not heads up, 7-up) and they all seemed to have a good time doing it. I got to read to them for the last half hour of the class---and the class was reading Because of Winn-Dixie which is one of my favorites.

This is an especially good situation, because it is the school that is right around the corner from my house. The regular teacher came into the classroom at the very end of the day and said she would be glad to have me come back for her class again in the future. Also the office took my name also, especially excited since I was so close to the school.

I really did like this feeling of leaving a school with a smile on my face, instead of feeling completely broken down.

Oh, funny moment of the day. Somehow a big cockroach appeared in the middle of the classroom during the day. At first I thought it might belong to one of the many science experiments taking place in the class, the students assured me that it wasn't. So then it was a matter of disposing of the cockroach----this was a really big cockroach, so I didn't want to step on it because it would have made a big mess. So I gave it a little kick to try and flip its on its back. Of course I over-kicked the cockroach and it went flying to the side of the room that all the girls were sitting on. You should have heard the shrieks! So that explains where my one voice raising moment of the day came from. I did manage to get the cockroach to the garbage can without killing it, so it is probably having a feast in some dumpster as we speak.

Hot Sweaty Cranky Kids vs. Hot Sweaty Cranky Teacher

I was a little bit nervous about the school that I went to today, it was a few blocks away from one of my nightmare schools from last year. If anything the neighborhood around this school looked even worse - lots of boarded up crappy housing, lots of people hanging out drinking even at 8 in the morning. But the school was so much better. The only behavior problems I was dealing with were talkative kids. I can handle that.

What a difference there is when you are in a school with a good principal and a good regular teacher. Things move so much more smoothly.

That's not to say today was perfect. The room I was in was so incredibly hot. The temperature was over 85 degrees and very high humidity because of Ivan's approach. Of course the school had no air conditioning (except for the teacher's lounge).

All of us survived the morning, but tempers were short among everyone in the afternoon (including myself). I couldn't blame anyone for not wanting to learn, but I still had lesson plans to plow through. It seemed every few minutes we are having to stop again because of talking, people complaining about the heat. I did have one extra measure of control today. It was up to me whether the fans were on high, low, or even off. The class quieted down really quick if I switched a fan off. Slightly cruel yes, but highly effective. I couldn't really leave the fan off for that long of period because then it meant I was suffering just as much as they were.

Oh yes, and the other thing about being in a room filled with kids on a hot day, after recess.....the smells! Often not a pleasant thing...even the kids were plugging there noses.

Of course the kids like to say things to you when they are upset like, "I can't wait till I can leave this stinking place." Truth of the matter was, neither could I. Nothing against the kids, but I don't like sweating anymore than any of them do.

Tomorrow's job is right around the corner...it should be interesting being at a school so close to home. Am I going to recognize kids from the neighborhood? Am I going to recognize kids from my summer library job? We shall see!

Very slow week

You have probably noticed, I haven't added any more substitute stories this week. Well no substituting, no stories. I supposed I could have written about sitting at home and checking once an hour to see if there is any work for the week, but no.

I did pick up two jobs for Thursday and Friday. Hopefully I keep both of them, there have been a lot of cancellations so far. I suppose it is very early in the school year so I should have expected it to be slow like this.

I'm nervous about the sub job that I have tomorrow. It is in one of the rougher areas of town. It is very close to the school where I had my worst elementary substitute teaching experience ever (kids walking in out of class, throwing scissors across the room, fighting, etc., no administrator in real control). I'm hoping to have a much better day tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I'm really looking forward to Friday's job. It is at a school right around the corner (I will be able to walk to work). It is also known as being one of the top elementary schools in the city. So I should have some good entries for the rest of the week.

Administrative snafu

Its my third day of subbing and I've already had my first administrative snafu for the school year. I arrived at the school (which had the worst parking of any school I've ever been at), and there was already a substitute there for that same teacher. It gets worse, they didn't even need a single substitute. So there are two of us there for zero openings.

The other substitute left right away, but I stuck around to make them figure it out with the substitute office at district headquarters. Supposedly what happened is that the teacher had been scheduled to go to a math inservice, but the staff development office never informed the teacher or the school's principal about the training session. Heads will probably roll, but absolutely no blame can come my way.

On the plus side, the substitute office didn't have any other openings for the day so they were required to pay me for a half day (a full day would have been better). But I am quite content to be paid for sitting at home (actually catching up on sleep at home).

This isn't the first time that this has happened to me, it happened a couple of times last year where staff development ordered a substitute but didn't inform anyone about training. Talk about a waste of education dollars.

Anyone care to make a prediction about the number of administrative snafus I will have to deal with this school year? I am prediciting 3 incorrect assignments.

Discipline for Talkative Kids?

Yesterday was my second day of subbing for this school year. It was a crazy day, the teacher left very detailed and extensive plans and of course we were unable to finish a large portion of the work.

One of the problems today was that the kids were so talkative. My teacher voice came out a number of times, and it would quiet the room for a few minutes, but then the talking would start again. That is one of the things that is hard about substituting, you really have no effective disciplinary measures--especially for the minor problems. Sure if a kid is fighting or something extreme you can send them to the principal's office, but you can't send a kid to the office for talking in class. You can't talk to their parent, because substitutes have absolutely no standing in the eye of the parents. The only real tool that I have is that I will leave a note for their regular teacher. I don't know what the regular teachers do with those notes---I'm guessing often times not much. Even if the teacher does respond to the note, it is so long after the disruptive behavior occurred that the discipline can't be that effective.

Oh yeah, and with this I am talking about 1st and 2nd graders. Once you are dealing with the older grades they realize that you are powerless to stop their behavior.

What do I wish I could do for discipline as a substitute? I'm really not sure. I do take away recess on occasion---but that doesn't really help a teacher or a student. I firmly believe that students need a release for their energy. If you take away a kid's recess he/she is just going to be all the more fidgety or talkative during class the rest of the day.

Well enough about discipline. The fun stuff now. The teacher had us do an activity called interactive writing. The class writes a story and each student writes one word of the story. Their teacher had given us the title, "Our First Substitute". First the students said that I wore black pants. Then the story continued with the students coloring my face red, blue, white, black, green, and purple. I wonder what their regular teacher will think when she sees that story on the chart paper tomorrow.

It looks like my next job will be on Thursday. It will be an afternoon only job at a school that I never worked at last year, so it could be interesting.

Another year of subbing begins

Today was a new experience for me. I have never subbed so close to the beginning of a school year. It is the 3rd day of school here in our district. Some of the parents as they dropped their child off even stated to me, "A substitute already?"

Hey don't blame me, I wasn't the one taking the day off. I subbed for a 1st grade class---they still haven't really learned how to behave in school. They were timid and quiet around me for about the first hour and then after that they turned into a class of chatterboxes. I can't really blame them----It really takes a few days to get adjusted to a classroom again after not being in one for three months. The school I was at had its first practice fire drill today, and everyone from my class got out of the class unscathed, so that is definitely a good thing.

The teacher I worked for today, Ms. G, had a full set of lesson plans available for me, but unfortunately she didn't really do a good job of having materials prepared for me. Complete the 4 pages of spelling. Note to all you real teachers out there, be very specific about what you mean......4 pages of spelling might make sense to you, but it certainly doesn't mean anything to me.

One of the hardest things that I had to deal with is a young boy who I will call Leo. Leo had a whole list of problems going on, no reading ability, a good chance he is dyslexic, and speech problems also. Lucky for him, he is a determined young kid, but Leo just couldn't do any of the work that the teacher had for the class. So I am left with the dilemma, do I help Leo finish something or do I just ignore him and concentrate on the rest of the class. I worked a lot with Leo, but it meant that I lost a lot of control over the rest of the class.

The kids in this class were very huggy---I think it is probably the huggiest group of kids that I have ever worked with. One of the kids did say that I looked like a teddy bear, so maybe that had something to do with it. I'm not really a huggy person myself so I don't always receive hugs as warmly as I should.

What else to say, I forgot how physically draining teaching can be. I got home and my legs and feet were just aching. I'm certainly glad that it is a 3-day weekend. I'm not sure what my next class will be, keep tuned till next week.

My Substitute Teaching Blog

On Friday I will start another year of working as a substitute teacher for the the local public school district (which is located in a large Midwestern city). Most of the time I work as a substitute for grades 1-5 (I will do upper grades if I'm feeling masochistic or desperate for cash). I was a regular 4th grade teacher in previously in a large suburban district in the Mid-Atlantic prior to moving here.

The big question-Why am I a substitute teacher? There is no simple or single answer.

1. I am not a regular teacher because my certification did not transfer from my previous state (long story for another day), and I'm not ready to go back to school for another 2 years at this point to learn something that I already know how to do.
2. Day to day teaching burns me out very quickly and makes me very cranky. I love the flexibility of deciding each and everyday whether or not I feel like working.
3. I'm looking for what I want to do next. Most likely I will be going to graduate school for library science next summer or fall.
4. The economy is not that great the moment. Working as a substitute teacher beats flipping burgers at McDonald's (well most days it does).
5. I love working with kids.

I hope to fill this blog with some of the silly stories that I bring home each day. Some stories about kids, some stories about other teachers, some about administrators, and some about parents.

I will not be using any real names for children in this blog (unless it is a particularly funny name that I feel must be shared). I've just revised the entire blog so I am not even going to mention my city or the state (Yes I know I am overly paranoid!).

As far as names go, I had a girl name Perspective and a boy named Socrates in the same class. Parents--what are you thinking?? So much for keeping real names out of this.

My first subbing assignment for this year is on Friday. I will be subbing for a 1st grade class---it should be good for several stories.