"We don't like stories!"

My saddest moment of the day was when I decided I would read some stories to the class because the kids were extremely hyper and we weren't getting any work done. I am a good story picker, I pick stories that make kids laugh. But these kids didn't care, as soon as I said I was going to read some stories, they started moaning and groaning. Two different kids yelled out across the room at me, "We don't like stories!" That absolutely floored me. How do I even respond to that? I really had nothing that I could say at that point, other than "I know some kids in this room enjoy stories so I am going to read two funny stories to you."

As soon as I started reading, about half the class started moaning, groaning, talking, and getting out of their seats. I tried pushing through my first story, Shoot! Scat! by Lois Grambling (I will include a review of both books later this weekend on booksforkids.blogspot.com), but it got to a point where it was impossible to read. But as I was reading I noticed that there was a group of about 8 students that were actively paying attention to the story and enjoying it. I decided I would give the small group a special treat, I let the instructional assistant work with the other half of the class and I took the 8 listening students into the hall and we had our own impromptu story time. The kids listened, the kids asked questions, and most of all the kids enjoyed the books (and as an added bonus I enjoyed being with the kids). This small group was such a good audience that I read them a second story, Guji Guji by Chih-Yuan Chen. They wanted to hear even more stories after that, but unfortunately we all needed to go back to the classroom. Those were easily my 20 least stressful and happiest minutes of the day.
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After these past two days I know now more than ever that teaching kindergarten requires very different teaching skills than teaching any other age level. It also requires a whole different level of energy than I know that I have. These last two days of subbing have been more draining that any that I have had in a long time.

What did I learn about kindergarteners? They don't have any memory. You must tell them the same instructions over and over. With older kids I can usually explain why I must do something, but the kindergarteners don't have the reasoning ability to understand explanations.

They also have no concept of time. They start asking about when lunch is within the first 30 minutes of being at school. They ask about using the bathroom five minutes after they have just finished using it.
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Speaking of bathroom breaks, here is an expression I don't want to hear anymore, "I gotta use it!" Use what? It. That isn't just a kindergarten thing, I've heard it at every grade level that I have taught.