Whack-A-Mole

Have you ever played the classic arcade/carnival game, Whack-A-Mole? Substitute teaching is a lot like that game. Sometimes you get into a certain rhythm where you are hitting each and every mole perfectly. Other times you miss one silly little mole and its impossible to get your rhythm back and you end up with a suck score and no tickets.

What the hell does this have to do with substitute teaching? Well the moles are students acting up. They might be talking. They might be out of their seat. They might be sleeping instead of working. They might be clicking their tongue loudly. It could be anything. The goal of the teacher is to extinguish these behaviors that are interrupting the lesson. Sometimes when I've found my rhythm all I have to do is give a student a certain look and they will stop what they are doing. Other times I might just stand next to them for a little while. The days when I have my teaching rhythm going, I can handle and control almost any sort of student behavior.

Today was not one of those days. I've had a nasty head cold for the past week, and this was my first day back in school. Truthfully, my head was still spinning from an overload of cold medicine.

The day doesn't get off to a good start, the school office is swamped when I arrive so I can't get anyone to check me in or tell me to which room to report. I finally find the room and it is locked, so I have to wait for someone to open up the room. Fifteen minutes have no been wasted in which I could have been reading the lesson plans---instead I have less than ten minutes to figure out my whole day. Just to add to the confusion the office starts making announcements about it being picture day and that there will also be an assembly.

Before I realize it students start arriving. They are talking. No one wants to sit down. No one wants to do the work that their teacher left on the board. They start asking to use the bathroom. And this is all in the first five minutes of the school day.

I start asking, and then telling students to sit down and do their work. They could care less about anything I have had to say. The talking increases. The students moving around increases. My voice gets louder and firmer. It doesn't matter. I have lost my rhythm and I won't be getting it back today. By the day is over I have kids kicking each other. Girls are crying. A student is in the principal office. I've been told several times that they want their real teacher back. Two students have snuck into the room during a bathroom break and thrown everyone's work on the floor. Oh yeah---and this is a 3rd grade class that I taught today.

I'm sure my rhythm will be back next week. They will be a different class, and I will be a different teacher (hopefully one not at all groggy on cold medicine). And most of all I will be thinking hard about proper Whack-A-Mole strategy---start strong, finish strong, and don't let a single mole leave your sight.